Yesterday we as a Nation remembered and honored the memory of all who lost their lives in New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington DC 18 years ago. An attack that changed our way of life in many ways forever.
18 years ago, this last February I was also blessed with the most precious gift I believe God can give us. A special life to hold and care for and raise to be a better version of who we are. My beautiful daughter Chrishia was that gift for me.
She forever changed my life when she was born and my heart the moment, she opened her eyes for the first time. She gave me the special honor of being the first thing she saw in this world. It made me experience a feeling of love and joy I had never known, and it brought tears to my eyes.
For myself Sept 11th Is both a reminder of the attack on this great nation I love but also a painful emotional reminder of what Sept 12th is. It’s the painful anniversary of the night 5 years ago I lost that most special and precious gift from God.
Still coping and processing the grief of becoming a single parent and widower just 15 months prior. I could not have imagined I would now know the pain and grief of losing a child as well. Being only 13 years old she still had a full life ahead of her. She had just started high school, made new friends in a new place and was dreaming of her future plans for college and exploring the world.
She was my rock and though we helped each other cope with the loss of her mother, she truly helped me I think more than I helped her.
For me September 12th is and will forever be the day I remember getting the call that she had been in an accident, seeing her little lifeless, broken body lying on an ER table. I remember the feeling of holding her hand as I sat there crying and feeling the warmth of her gentle touch fading away. Remembering begging God not to take her but instead take me in her place. Remembering how desperate I felt not being beside her when she took her last breath and holding her hand as I did with her mother 15 months prior. Remembering how confused I was that she could be gone having seen her just 30 minutes prior and telling her good night as she ran in to spend the night at a friend’s house for a sleepover. Remembering her being taking away to the county coroner’s office knowing the next time I would see her would be at the same funeral home we had both said goodbye to her mother in.
I remember the numb empty feeling of returning home without her and feeling the same feeling I did when her mother died. All of the pictures in the house of them both were the last ones I would have of them. The depth of pain swelling up in me as I walked into her room knowing she would never lay in her bed again as we said our nightly prayers. Knowing I would never get to kiss her goodnight ever again. I rememberthe next day Sept 13th going to scene of the road she laid on as her life escaped her and left the road stained. Searching for clues to understand how this could have happened?
It would be several days before I would learn her death was completely preventable. Just as I would have never thought the pain would or could get worse, I lean what was portrayed as a simple accident was actually something far worse. She was killed not in a car accident but crossing a street and hit by a pickup truck. As I listened to the investigating officer explain how she died I hear “ She was hit by an UNLICENSED 34 year old male driving a 2004 Nissan Titan.” When I asked how he could be 34 years old and not have a driver license, I am told “ I’m not permitted to tell you this, but we believe he may be here in the U.S. Illegally.” I was being lied to because they already know he was here illegally and still released him 36 minutes after he was booked…For outstanding warrants.
The pain would only get worse for me when I ask if he is going to jail for killing my little girl, I am told that he voluntarily submitted to a drug and alcohol test and unless he tests positive… It is unlikely.
Five years later. Today Sept 12th 2019 I find myself still grieving over the loss of my only child. My beautiful daughter and my angel. The man has never been charged with her death because according to a Grand Jury in Rockwall, Texas. “Having no drugs or alcohol in his system, there was no proof of negligence in his ability to operate the vehicle.” It didn’t matter that he had 2 outstanding warrants the night he chose to knowingly break the law and get behind the wheel of a vehicle he was not licensed to drive. It didn’t matter he had warrants for driving without a license, and speeding. It didn’t matter he had been stopped 3 times prior by CPB trying to enter the county Illegally but never charged for those crimes either.
I live with the knowledge his only punishment for driving the truck he killed my Chrishia with is a ticket for driving without a license. I live with the knowledge that Rockwall PD, and Rockwall County Sherriff’s Dept didn’t report him to ICE the night he killed her. Simply because he “had not committed a violent felony.”
I also live with the knowledge that he was only arrested and only for his Immigration Status because it was by my own doing, and only because I found a Congressman with the Morals of what is right and wrong and standing up for U.S. Citizens over Illegal Aliens. As well as I live with the knowledge that this Illegal Alien was released only a month after being detained by ICE, on bail and is now a fugitive after DHS warned the Dallas Federal Immigration judge of my daughter’s killer being a flight risk.
I carry with me the knowledge; I was able to find on my own my daughter’s killer to be apparently living just miles away from where he went missing from ICE. Yet ICE is still looking for him.
Today of all days could not be more painful than the night my beautiful precious Chrishia was killed. Because another one of Presidential debates are close at hand in Houston Texas. ALL of the candidates running for the chance to be the Party nominee are promising “Free Healthcare for Illegal Aliens, Free Housing for Illegal Aliens, Free Education for Illegal Aliens, and to forgive their crime of entering the country Illegally!” all of which would be at the expense of U.S. Citizens like myself and the THOUSANDS of other families who have lost a loved one or loved ones at the hands of Illegal Aliens, we are now called Angel Families, Angel Parents, Angel Siblings.
I did not want to believe my daughter’s death would be part of a political argument, but the sad truth is IT IS.
Chrishia, like Jared, Mandy, Michelle, Amanda, Pierce, Molly, Dominic, Denny, Tierra, Kristopher, Joe, Drew, Brian, Kate, these are just a few names in an impossible to understand long list of lives taken by Illegal Alien Crime. All preventable and none that major media want to mention. All … ALL of us Angel Families live the same nightmare!
On this day Sept 12th, 2019, 5 years after your death Chrishia, I still love you, hurt, miss, and suffer your absence. I would gladly give every minute of the rest of my life, just to have one more time to hold your hand and hug you and tell you how so very, very proud I am to have been your Dad.
I will forever regret I could not be there to save you or hold your hand, so you were not alone. I will also never stop being your voice. Until we both have justice, I will never stop fighting for you my baby girl, and I will continue to look for you in my dreams.
I love you Chrishia.